My dad died just over a year ago, now. As my mom has told me, "you never know when the loss of a loved one will hit you..."
As mentioned in a recent post, I love weddings. However, this past wedding was a bitter-sweet occasion. After dropping the baby off in the daycare area, we had to sit at the very front since we were a teensy bit later than I would have preferred. My DH suggested I turn my phone off (not that it EVER rings) - and I obliged. I had a text, so I checked it right before the wedding. It was from my brother (who RARELY communicates with me) - and it said, simply, "I'm thinking of you today sis." I didn't think much of it... That is, until the Bride's father walked her down the isle.
From there, the usual "joyous" experience of a wedding changed for me.
This wedding was the first I had been to since my dad died. The combination of the 1 year anniversary of dad's death the day before, the father and daughter moment in the front of the church, and the fact that the last time I ever saw my father was at my own wedding simply brought me to tears. And while many people perhaps viewed it as my happiness for the bride and groom - it was, unfortunately, a sad moment for me as I was reflecting on my own father.
I only wear makeup once - maybe twice - a year, and the one time so far this year I did it ran and got all over. Hmph!
And while I am still very happy for my newlywed friends - - I am also sad that my baby will not know his grandfather.
I am thankful for a supportive husband, who told me, "it's okay to be sad." I am thankful that my father is in a better place. I know he loved me, and he was proud of me. I am thankful, too, for my "big"-little brother, who has a heart bigger than most people I know.
